Category Archives: Original Questions

Sex, breasts, and Facebook

This question comes directly to The Thinker from an intrepid reader who calls himself Possible Creeper.
Editors note: I will edit letters for understanding and perhaps brevity but will never alter the content.  Scout’s honor.

Question:  I have been a with the same girl for a few months and are at the stage where we spend a lot of time together just hanging out.  I haven’t cheated on her but I have made her suspicious because she looked through my webhistory one day.  She says she looked because I always seemed to be flipping to a different screen if she walked by while I was using my computer.  I was doing this.  It wasn’t for any real bad reason – I like to browse facebook photos of friends of friends who have it so you can see their pics even if you aren’t friends.  I spend time looking at the pics of girls.  I don’t know why – I’m not masturbating to them or anything.  My girl doesn’t like this and thinks I’m a creeper.  When I say it out loud it does seem creepy.  What do you think?

Possible Creeper

Answer:  Ok, whether we guys want to admit it or not, we’ve all done this – pissed off our girlfriends by doing nothing at all whatsoever that could be thought of as wrong.  That, and we’ve  all surfed around Facebook looking for pictures of hotties (it’s a fact, trust me).  We are hunters by evolution trapped in a gatherer world.  Without semi-creepy Facebook surfing, we might have never seen the pictures of Congressional candidate Krystal Ball (whose parents must have been hoping for a stripper and/or porn star.  Seriously, “Krystal Ball”).

The thing is, if you are doing it so much your girlfriend who doesn’t live with you notices, and you flip to another screen to avoid detection, then maybe your girl has a point.  Are you a creeper?  Well who is to say?  If your keyboard and/or underwear isn’t all sticky, then you’re probably ok…for now.

PS. I know there is no mention really of sex and/or breasts, but it is implied.

Advertisements

OQ – an original question

This question was sent directly to The Thinker, and is not shamelessly lifted from another site….

Question: How in the name of all that is holy can Bristol Palin still be on Dancing with the Stars, and how can her psycho mom still get paid to squeak and shriek incoherent word salad?

Sincerely,

Stranger in a Strange Land

Answer: I can answer both questions with one answer: A lot of people in this country are crazy. Not the fun crazy like a girlfriend who wants to have sex in the bathroom at her parents house on your first Thanksgiving there while about a million relatives mill about yards away, but scarey crazy, like the girlfriend who wants to kill you for talking to other women, even if you do happen to work with them and are talking to them at work. And stupid. A lot of people in this country are stupider than at any other time in our history. It’s a fact and is supported by evidence.  Trust me.  To paraphrase George Carlin, think about how smart the average American is, and the remember that half of all Americans are dumber than that.  It explains a lot, not just Dancing with the Stars results.

And just because I like to see trouble get stirred up, I am praying Bristol wins – the real dance fans who watch the show will run through the streets with pitchforks and torches!


%d bloggers like this: