This questions comes from Since You Asked, an advice column written by Cary Tennis…
I’m a woman nearing 30, and I’m in love with a younger man. Not much younger, just 25. In most ways, I don’t notice any age difference. We have a lot in common, are both very attracted to each other, and have a loving relationship of six months.
On top of that, we have compatible…blah, blah, blah…But sometimes I feel like the relationship is doomed. The problem is that I want “the future” sooner than he does. (For the record, he started this conversation!) He can’t see himself being married for many years. I feel like I am psychologically ready for marriage, though not until I know I have the right guy. He is afraid of feeling trapped. I am afraid of a lifetime full of three-year relationships.
But do we really disagree about anything? After all, we have the same long-term goals, and we’re also happy together in the present. He’s not going to propose to me anytime soon, but I’m not asking for that level of commitment yet.
I have broken up with two former boyfriends because they didn’t want children and were therefore not potential life partners. But this is different. Is there even a problem here? Do I need to consider breaking up with him? Or am I just inventing things to worry about in an otherwise great relationship? I’d welcome your thoughts!
Ready for the Future
MY ANSWER: After six months you want to have babies with this guy? Seriously? You should see my previous post regarding bunny boilers. To the Dude she is speaking of, I say — run away. Fast. I have the idea his whole reason for bringing up the conversation was to elicit just such information…sneaky bastard. Still though, run fucking fast.