Questions from Carolyn Hax

From Carolyn Hax at Seattle Pi

Dear Carolyn:

How would you explain something like this: A woman in a seemingly happy marriage to Man A says that cooking or attending big social gatherings is just not her thing. Man A is disappointed but makes his peace with it because there are other great things about their relationship.

Fifteen years in, the woman abruptly leaves Man A for Man B, and with this new man, she not only whips up incredible meals on a regular basis, but has also become the gracious, exciting social butterfly she never was with Man A. How can she now do all the things for Man B that she was never able or willing to for Man A?

— Anonymous

ANSWER: Here’s how I explain it – fucking bitch.  Bet she is skinny again too.  And had her boobs done.  And suddenly doesn’t mind swallowing.  And pays for his car using my child support.  And goes down on him in a theater.  Come on, this happens to all of us doesn’t it?  Suck it up, we did.

Hi, Carolyn!

I’m in an awkward situation that I think a lot of other readers might relate to. My parents are very deep in denial about a lot of things, from their culpability in my siblings’ and my very stormy childhood, to acknowledging some of the very difficult and stressful times we experienced later in life…BLAH BLAH BLAH (I mean honestly, why do these letter writers go on so?)I know I should just give up trying to get them to be reasonable, but it’s very hurtful to me. Help!

– De Nile, a river in Egypt

ANSWER: I told you Mom and Dad don’t like you writing to advice columnists you stupid, underachieving, lazy, good-for-nothing piece of excrement that I call a sister.  Now shut the fuck up.

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