Q. Uninvited to the Wedding: My college roommate, one of my favorite people in the world, got married about two weeks ago. I did not get an invitation. Our lives have taken us in different directions and we haven’t always kept in touch as much as I would like, but when we have gotten together it has been, I thought, just like old times. Until, that is, five years ago when I got married and moved two hours away from her… BLAH BLAH (JESUS SHUT THE FUCK UP) BLAH…I really love this friend and I am so sad to think that our friendship may be a thing of the past. What can I do to let her know how much our friendship means to me without being petty because of the un-invite?
ANSWER: Obviously she fucked your hubby. Or you hers. Or neither. Here’s the deal – you are what is clinically referred to as a “bunny boiler.” You’re a fucking psycho. Please obey the retraining order and move on to greener stalking pastures.